Adobe, 1: Tim, 0

I’ve been an Adobe loyalist for far longer than most of my developer buddies, but after seeing yet another $49.99 charge for Adobe Creative Cloud after another month of not really needing it, I finally decided to just kill my subscription and use other programs. At least, that’s what I thought I’d do. First, I clicked through about twenty screens, following the digital bread crumbs from click to click to attempt to find a screen that would let me cancel. I finally landed on a page that gave me two options, A) call and talk to a human, or B) chat with a human. No simple unsubscribe box. I tried calling first, but the person I spoke to could find no record of my existence. Next, I tried chatting. Spoiler alert: despite my best efforts I am still an Adobe customer.

You are now chatting with ‘Prabhudev’

Prabhudev: Hello! Welcome to Adobe Customer Service.

Prabhudev: Hi Timothy, I understand that you wish to cancel your subscription and I can take care of that for you.

Timothy McAtee: yes I’d like to cancel my account

Prabhudev: May I know the reason for the cancellation?

Timothy McAtee: I don’t use it

Prabhudev: I see that you have subscribed to Creative Cloud membership (one-year).

Prabhudev: We are sorry to see you go, If you are willing to continue the subscription and complete the annual commitment I can get you 2 months free subscription and you will not be charged for the next 2 months.

Timothy McAtee: Please just cancel the subscription

Prabhudev: Before I go ahead and cancel your subscription, May I ask if you are interested in continuing your plan if I make an exception and get you next three months free?

Timothy McAtee: Please stop. Cancel it.

Prabhudev: Timothy, I am sorry to say this, If you cancel the subscription now there will be an early termination fees, as you are under one year annual commitment.

Timothy McAtee: But I signed up more than a year ago

Timothy McAtee: What is the fee?

Prabhudev: An annual subscription requires a commitment for the full year and monthly payments. If you decide to end a one-year membership before the 12-month period is over, you are charged 50% of the remaining amount left on your contract. Which amounts USD 200+Tax.

Timothy McAtee: When is the 12 month period over?

Prabhudev: Your plan will end on Jun 26, 2016

Timothy McAtee: Well then, cancel it effective June 26, 2016

Prabhudev: we will notify you via email so that you can cancel from your end. [NOTE: I clearly can’t cancel it from my end, or I would have by now]

Prabhudev: Do you wish to continue your plan with three months free and complete the annual commitment?

Timothy McAtee: You don’t really give me much choice, do you?

Prabhudev: If you continue the subscription you will get next three months free and you can save 3 month’s subscription charges, you will also avoid paying the early cancellation fees.

Timothy McAtee: ok. let’s do that.

Prabhudev: I am glad that you are continuing your subscription